Compatible With Life
by Staz
Summary: Set at the begining of season 10 Harm and Mac deal with Mac's endometriosis.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own JAG or any of the characters, really, I don't.

A/N: set after Hail and Farewell part 2. I never did get why Harm didn't push Mac to deal with the meaning of her endometriosis, especially since it had such an affect on him as well. After all, he was the one who eventually made her the doctor's appointment for her back pains. So, here's my alternate universe take on things.

As usual, my thanks to Colie for her comments and corrections – no idea what I'd do without you!

-----

The internet was a dangerous place, Harm decided. There was just too much information out there. Sure, it came in handy at times – you could find all you wanted to know about any topic, especially if you had money to spend on it, but at times the infinite data source was just too vast.

He'd been scouring the net for the past couple of weeks during his free time, with one main search word: Endometriosis. He was nothing if not thorough; sifting through countless web pages with gruesome pictures and medical jargon. Finally, he settled on a few sites with most of the relevant information and delved into the details.

Every once in a while a recurring thought drifted through his mind. 'Thank god I'm not a woman...". In his quest he found out about quite a few conditions that threatened a woman's fertility as well as her life which were often times asymptomatic. Endometriosis was such a condition. He sighed when it dawned on him that Mac was actually lucky that she had experienced back pain, so much so that he had to butt in and make her an appointment. She could've had the disease without knowing about it, while it progressed further. At this point at least there was still a chance.

After getting the basics, he went ahead and made a call to Teresa Coulter, asking as a favor for some advanced info, translated to plain English. Coulter was only too happy to comply, even though he wouldn't tell her who it was for.

So now he had all the information neatly organized; the dark side there, but overwhelmed by options and hope. But all that lay dejectedly in his desk drawer. Mac wouldn't hear about it. Don't call us; we'll call you.

He did understand, much more than she thought. He knew just how hard the past year had been for her, ending with Webb's supposed death and finally this health related blow.

He did his best not to show it, but he felt her devastation deep in his heart. A heavy weight had settled in the pit of his stomach when Mac told him about her prognosis, and it just wouldn't go away.

The sight of Mac's tear filled eyes and broken demeanor was more than enough to make the sky cloud over. Combine that with the fact that her decreasing chances of bearing a child was to him akin to scraping a needle across the surface of the one hopeful bubble that had persisted inside him for the longest time, and there wasn't much to smile about.

If it wasn't for Mattie, he'd sink into a fully fledged depression.

Despite all that, the bubble wouldn't quite burst; he still had hope. In all the knowledge he'd accumulated there wasn't one sighting of the word 'never'. Nothing was impossible – there was still a chance, even if it was slim.

So now he was stuck between a rock and a hard place, with two equally daunting choices:

Force Mac to face facts, confront her with the reality, OR let her deal with things and give her time, as she'd asked, to come to him.

The first choice held the very real probable consequence of dealing with a hurt and angry Marine that could then cut him off from her life completely.

The second choice frightened him ever more. Given Mac's attitude lately there was a real chance she would never come to him.

So far, despite the dread eating at him, he stuck with the second choice; opting to keep Mac in his life in some form, rather than having her slam all doors in his face...

Every time he sat down at his desk he now performed his newly acquired ritual. He opened the drawer, fingered the file and glanced at the first page, bearing the heading "Endometriosis: The Guide". With the drawer still open, he would throw a glance in the direction of Mac's office, give a heartfelt yet small sigh, gently close the drawer and get back to work.

He really hoped that his prediction was wrong and Mac would eventually come to him, for with every day that passed he was getting closer to losing the battle he was waging with himself. One of these days he wouldn't be able to hold up the patient front and he could only pray it wouldn't just burst out of him and destroy something that had been 8 years in the making.

-----

Mac visibly flinched when she realized her hand had drifted down to rest on her lower stomach again.

Lately, she found herself doing that quite a lot. She'd be sitting, completely immersed in one thing or another, and suddenly become aware of warmth on her belly.

At first it was only at night – lying in bed, she would allow the tears to break from the seemingly permanent sheen that covered her eyes these days, and flow down her cheeks. Her hands would cover the area of her body that was the focus of her thoughts and feelings. She would lie like that, for an hour at the very least, every night, release all the tears that had accumulated throughout the day, and pray.

The last time she had prayed with such consistency and so profoundly was when she was a little girl, trying so hard to believe that everything would one day be wonderful. When that day failed to come, and finally when her mother left, she had stopped praying altogether.

Then, on the night of Webb's resurrection and their subsequent break up, she lay in bed and wished for a miracle once again.

"Oh god... please... I know I'm not perfect. Not even close. But please, please don't let me lose the chance to be a mother. Let me be able to carry my child... please, god."

She focused all her energy on her hands, as if willing them to heal the organs underneath them by touch and warmth alone. She imagined a white glow emanating from them and setting things right.

She started each new day a bit more drained, the watery shield of her eyes gaining liquid with each passing hour, as it waited for release in the darkness of her bedroom.

The thing that annoyed her most is that more and more, she found her right hand on her stomach at different times of the day, even at work. Not acceptable.

Work was off limits; at work she needed to concentrate only on her job – bury herself in it till she couldn't physically do it anymore and so went home to sleep. It was her only means of escape, she couldn't lose that too!

She had too much excess energy and nothing to do with it except attack her paperwork, which was rather defenseless. With a muted annoyed grunt, she gave up on reading the file in front of her and stormed out of her office in search of something to do.

She managed to throw a glance to her right before stepping out, but her left was neglected, a fact she soon regretted.

"Oof! Whoa, take it easy, Marine." Harm held the flustered Mac by the shoulders, steadying her after their run-in.

"Sorry, Harm, didn't watch where I was going.." Mac was almost overwhelmed by how much she wanted to put her hands on his to keep them there, while at the same time she had an unbearable urge to shrug out of his touch.

She felt a tear at the corner of her eye, trying to break free from the rest. She had to get away... but Harm was talking to her.

"I was just on my way to see you, actually. You free for dinner tonight? I-"

"Sure, I'll see you then." Mac cut him short and answered in the only way that would end the conversation in the fastest way. She didn't even wait to hear the sentence that started with a stammered "Okay", and beat a retreat to the ladies' room.

Harm stood in place for a long second, unable to keep the confusion from showing on his face. Determination chased the puzzlement away as he turned back to his office. She had agreed to dinner and he wouldn't let her back out.

Tonight he was changing his choice, and ditching the safe route. This was too important to just let it lie. Just as he had to intervene with taking care of her back pains, he couldn't wait until she dug herself out this time. She would never ask for this kind of help, so he would just have to do what he thought was best.

As they said: "If you want something done right, do it yourself."

-----

A few hours later, just as he'd suspected, Mac knocked lightly on the frame of his door. He leaned back and smiled brightly, hoping for some sort of reflection reflex.

"Hey, Marine. Come to make demands for dinner? Don't worry, I'm planning dessert as well." He threw a wink for the overkill affect.

Mac shifted uneasily, took a few steps into his office, but didn't sit down. "Actually... Harm, I remembered – "

"Oh no, you don't." Harm wasn't about to give her the chance to even finish the sentence. "You agreed and you're not taking it back now." He shook his head no when she tried to speak again. "You can only argue about the time, but you are having dinner with me."

Mac's features were the picture definition for the word 'indignant' for a brief moment before she visibly deflated, and sank down into one of his guest chairs. She didn't have it in her to argue about this.

"So when am I coming over for dinner?" She finally asked.

"You're not," he smiled triumphantly, and quickly went on, "I'm bringing dinner to you."

He wanted her comfortable and in her own court, besides he was preparing for conflict – she wouldn't be able to run from her own place and she wouldn't physically throw him out. He had every intention of staying rooted in place even if she screamed in his face.

Mac looked surprised, but apparently decided not to argue and simply nodded her agreement.

"Around seven?"

"Sure." She shrugged.

"Great! I'll come say goodbye before I head out." And with that he turned back to his computer screen, ending the conversation.

Mac sat a few seconds longer, then silently got up and left. Harm followed her covertly with his gaze, a small smile playing on his lips.

-----

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: see chap. 1

A/N: You knew this would come...

Can't go without thanking Colie – you da best, girl! (in case you forgot)

-----

Harm indeed came to say goodbye and to remind Mac that she too needed to leave soon; threatening laughingly to lock her out of her own home if he got there before her.

Grudgingly, and not without a few choice words under her breath, Mac locked up about an hour later, making sure to take plenty of work home to keep her busy both before Harm got there and after he left.

She had every intention of making him leave right after dinner. She was still too shaky. She needed to regain her footing. She couldn't yet deal with Harm's overpowering presence on a personal level. At this point in her life, the breeze from a butterfly's fluttering wings made her stumble, and in her book Harm was a tornado.

In a part of her mind that still thought rationally and logged the details of life for delayed scrutiny, she knew what Harm was doing. She knew the man of action couldn't stand back while someone he cared about seemed to be in need of help. She knew that eventually waiting wouldn't be enough for him.

Every day, that part of her mind wondered if today was the day Super-Harm would emerge from the phone-booth, intent on saving her from herself.

Coming home, she straightened out her apartment a bit, and took a shower. It was already a quarter to seven; no point in starting to work on anything. She had a feeling that Harm would break habit and actually be early for once.

Mac sank down to the couch and brought her knees up to her chin. She'd closed all the lights beforehand, welcoming the darkness.

Sure enough, five minutes later came the knock on her door, but she was already lost. A minute of leaving her mind free was enough for the carefully constructed walls to wobble and shake.

As if completely detached from her body, she heard the second knock a minute later. She sat in stunned silence, staring straight ahead, as a key turned in the lock and a tall figure carrying bags entered her apartment.

Harm grumbled as he struggled with the key. "...thinks I won't really lock her out. Well, we'll just see about that, Marine..."

Arms still full of bags, door still open, he suddenly stopped. It was dark, and it was silent, and he could sense her... "Mac...?"

Nothing.

Slowly, he eased the bags to the floor, and closed the door. Turning back towards the room, he waited for his eyes to adjust to the lack of light. Her outline became apparent on the couch.

"Mac..." He tried again, softly, as he carefully sat beside her. She seemed awake but in some kind of trance – unaware of her surroundings.

He wasn't sure what he should do – he was afraid touching her would invoke some killer reflex and he'd end up disabled.

Finally deciding he simply had to do something, he caressed her cheek gently with the back of his fingers. Her entire body shuddered as her breath caught, and she leaned into his touch.

Turning his hand, he cupped her face, and accepted the weight that shifted onto him. "Mac?" He decided to try again.

She blinked once, twice, then stiffened and moved away. "Harm. I-I'm sorry.." She stammered and shook her head; trying to clear it. "I-"

"Don't worry about it, Mac." Harm threw a smile he didn't feel. Seeing her like that shook him to the core. "You gonna help me with dinner?" He got up to retrieve the discarded bags by the door.

"Uh, yeah, sure. Go ahead, I'll be there in a minute." Mac forced herself off the couch and to her room, to splash some ice water at her face.

Harm watched her every move. Mac had yet to look him in the eye since he had entered, but he wasn't about to start pushing. Yet.

-----

"..finally, Mattie told me to butt out of the whole thing. Sometimes I get whiplash from that girl." Harm chuckled to himself. Actually, he was also talking to himself and by almost any standards, sharing the evening with himself.

Mac had her eyes focused solely on her plate, but not much food was making its way out of there and to her mouth. A mouth that was set in a tight line, which occasionally loosened slightly to allow a sigh or a non-comitial "Uh-huh".

Giving a tired sigh himself, Harm gathered his dishes and went to place them in the sink, returning to find Mac still sitting staring at her plate. He was reaching his breaking point.

"You haven't touched your food, Marine. I thought my swearing there was no tofu in it would be enough..."

He was towering over her, arms crossed across his chest, a playful little smile on his lips, but she didn't even look up. The tight line of her mouth curved in a fake and completely unnatural smile, and after a fraction of a second reverted back to its previous state.

"I guess I'm just not that hungry." She pushed back from the table, setting to pick up her plate, but Harm grabbed it before she could take it.

"Would you like a cup of tea?" He asked, already headed to the kitchen with her full plate. She threw a "Sure." in his direction and got up, suddenly too agitated to remain seated.

Okay, she counseled herself, only a cup of tea, then he'll leave and I'll get some work done. No problem. I can do this. It's just a cup of tea.

But she knew that the night was drawing to an end and her nerves were beginning to unravel. She hoped Harm would leave without forcing any unwanted topics of conversation, but knew the chances of that happening were pretty slim. Even so, after he left, she'd be once again alone in her dark apartment. Alone with her fears, her tears and her sleepless night.

Harm observed Mac from the kitchen for a few minutes, then strode out determinedly with the two cups of tea, marched straight to the couch and sat down. It took Mac a minute, but she joined him, sitting as far away from him as possible.

A few quiet sips later, Mac heard Harm take a deep breath and all her muscles tensed to the point of cramping. Harm, please don't.

"Mac, listen, I know you asked me to give you time and I don't want to push you-"

"So don't." she cut him off. Please, please, Harm. She added silently to herself.

"I can't just watch you suffer from afar, Mac, what kind of friend would that make me?" His tone was insufferably calm, which only served to make her more nervous, but also held her back from blowing up. There was a plaintive note of supplication in his voice, that almost made her cry out in pain.

"The kind that respects my wishes?" she knew she was being cruel, but then, so was he.

"I respect your wishes, Mac, I'm just worried about you." He was still calm. She gave a decidedly haughty snort, never meeting his stare. "So you respect me only when it suits you, that's nice."

"Mac, you know that's not true." He was getting exasperated; she still wouldn't even glance his way. "Damn it, Mac, look at me!" He'd only raised his voice in the slightest, but it was all she needed. She exploded.

"What for, Harm?! Huh? To see the pity in your eyes? The 'oh, poor little Mac is in trouble again, someone's got to do something' look?" He looked appalled but she went on. "Yes, I asked for time, and no, you're not respecting my wishes! I will deal with it. On my time-table, on my own!"

"Yeah, 'cause you've been doing a wonderful job of that." He muttered, and immediately wanted to slap himself. Not helping! He risked a glance at her, and found the picture of shock. A second later it vanished, to be replaced by pure rage.

"Get out." She said it quietly. Seething.

"Mac, I'm sorry, I didn't meant it-" He tried to backpedal.

"Get the fuck out!" Mac approached him and he got up defensively, coming to stand toe to toe with her.

"Mac, you know I-"

But he had no chance of finishing any sentences he started. "No, Harm, what I know is that for someone who claims to be a friend, you're a lousy one. I know I want you to get the hell out of here before I physically kick you out!"

She was in his face and his mind was working a mile a minute trying to figure a way out of the grave he'd dug himself. Must remain calm, you knew this would probably happen, proceed to plan B.

Harm forced his muscles to relax, he demeanor to become conceding. "Alright, Mac, I'm leaving." He received no response, and so turned around and walked to the door, leaving her rooted to the spot, glaring after him. "But I am your friend. Good night, Mac." And he closed the door behind him.

Could've gone much worse, he mused on his way to the car. No, he realized after a minute, no, it couldn't have. Shit.

-----

As Harm closed the door behind him, Mac's mind was trying to come to grips with what had transpired in the space of a minute. What had she done? Why'd he have to be so aggressive? Would he now, at the very least, stop bugging her? Would that be better?

Finally, tiredly, and practically on auto-pilot, she cleaned up all the dishes and leftovers and then climbed into bed. Thus started another restless tearful night.

God, give me strength.

-----

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: see chap. 1.

A/N: Sorry for that last chap, but it had to happen ya know – must have bad times to appreciate the good and all that...

Thank you all for the marvelous reviews!

-----

Mac woke up the next morning feeling slightly better. Mornings were always the better part of her day. Not that she started each one with a smile on her face; believing in the promise of a brand new day, but she couldn't help but have a smidgen of hope.

It was during the early hours of the day that she usually decided it was just too depressing to be depressed. It was a waste of time really. Marines don't mope around. She would stick her chin out and open the door to the outside world.

Luckily that morning she didn't stick her chin too far out, and managed to sidestep the obstacle placed in front of her apartment. The hall was empty, no sign of anyone who would leave what seemed like a large cup of coffee and a bakery bag at her door.

Upon further inspection, the goods were from a little bakery down the block, which made the best muffins in the district.

Placing her briefcase and cover on the floor, Mac picked up the cup and bag with caution. Her suspicion was confirmed when she found etched on the bottom of the (very hot!) cup, in a distinct handwriting 'Good morning. Take all the time you need'.

Despite her best efforts, her heart melted just a little bit and a small smile caught her lips. Both were quickly dismissed as the briefcase and cover were picked up from the floor and the apartment door was locked.

-----

True to his word, Harm kept his distance. Every exchange he'd shared with Mac during the day was purely professional. He wasn't unkind, just very very proper. She stopped counting after she got to 10 times she **almost** got up from her desk and walked straight to his office. All those times she **almost** collapsed in his guest chair and let it all come out. So many times she **almost** apologized to him about the other night.

But in the end she just didn't. Keeping it all about the job was much easier than delving into the murky personal stuff. So he worked, and she worked; a whole lot of work got done. They were very efficient indeed.

So it came as a complete shock that amidst all this professionalism, Mac realized again that her hand was resting against her lower abdomen. She could just scream! She felt like screaming! She placed her hands flat against her desk palms down. Stay! Both of you!

Naturally, it was at this moment that she heard a light knock on her door. The hell with it. "Enter!"

"Mac, I just got off the phone with my client, he won't take the deal."

"Well that's just great, so I have to waste my time and the Navy's time and money just because your Commander is too full of himself to admit a mistake? Just lovely." She knew she was being unreasonably snide and sarcastic, but she couldn't seem to hold it back.

"The Commander thinks he is innocent and has a right to be represented justly so that the truth comes out. I've heard the concept of justice includes the cliché 'innocent until proven guilty'." He returned her sarcasm but his heart wasn't in it. She could tell he was hurt by her attitude. She knew he didn't deserve this, but her façade had to be maintained; especially at the office. She ignored him and returned to the papers on her desk.

A moment later, when she heard the door click shut behind him, she deflated back into her chair and let out a long sigh through her teeth. She really had no idea why he kept coming back... but she was glad he did. One day. One day soon – she'd set things right.

-----

The next three days passed with a new routine. Each morning a fresh cup of coffee and a muffin would await her at the door, with a short sentiment from Harm scribbled on the cup. The day at the office was long, full of work and an occasional outburst. There was no mention of anything beyond work; not health issues, not bringing up teenagers and most certainly not breakfast treats.

And then it was Saturday.

Mac got out of bed at 0500 to her internal alarm clock; there was no point sleeping in if she wasn't really sleeping. Padding barefoot to the kitchen on a worn path that lead straight to the coffee maker, she saw nothing except the floor underneath her feet.

It was only about an hour later that she glanced in the direction of the door, wondering if Harm had gone to the trouble of leaving her a surprise that day, considering it was the weekend. Her eyes caught on an envelope on the floor by her door. Unbidden, her heart lifted in her chest.

Picking up the envelope, she looked through the peep-hole; saw nothing, then opened the door a crack; just to make sure. Nothing but an envelope. Not wanting to allow her mind time to consider the possibilities of what was inside the innocent white packet; she sat down and opened it.

Inside was a plain index card that stated: 'This certificate is good for one home cooked dinner. Serene atmosphere and (very silent) dinner partner included.'

How she loved him. His persistence was humbling. This was his version of 17 phone messages. But how was she supposed to call him and take him up on his offer? Just call and say 'hi Harm, I know I've been a bit of a bitch lately. Can I come over for dinner tonight, then?'. Not likely.

She read the text again and noticed smaller writing on the bottom. 'Offer expires at 19:01 today. No confirmation needed.'

Mac smiled. This was the best dinner invitation she'd ever gotten. She just hoped he'd make good on the 'very silent' part and that she'd find no excuse to ruin the night.

-----

At 19:00 sharp, Harm opened the door wide with an equally wide smile on his face. Her lips gave her no option but to return the smile. It didn't even feel all that faked. He motioned her in, saying nothing, and she wondered if he was actually going to stay silent the entire time.

"Make yourself at home, dinner will be ready in a minute." Apparently not.

Mac wasted two minutes, 40 seconds fidgeting around his living space; trying with all her might not to look or feel like a trapped bird. She couldn't quite make herself act as if she felt at home there; help him out with the last minute things, or make small talk as he moved food from pots and pans onto serving dishes. She remembered another lifetime in which coming to Harm's apartment felt more like coming home than going to her own place did.

Harm did indeed stay mostly quiet through the entire evening. The few words he did utter were in the softest tone she'd ever heard him use. A stray thought alerted her to the feeling of being treated almost like a small child; the next one being a consideration of whether she should be angry about this. It was mostly an unconscious decision to not be; it was too soothing to be a bad thing, so why be upset?

Dinner ended and Mac felt various muscles contracting under her skin, full of nervous energy, all but dragging her in the direction of the door. All the comfort she'd experienced up until that point was gone like fog cleared away by a sudden downpour. She wanted to leave. Now.

-----

Harm could sense the change in her; it really wasn't that hard. He could actually see her muscles tensing up, taking all the ease from her face in a single moment. His heart sank. He'd so hoped they'd made progress. Slow, he reminded herself, slow and gentle in very small, tiny steps. Earning her trust this time might be even harder than it was at the beginning of their partnership, but he had knowledge on his side. And knowledge, as they say, is power.

Harm walked slowly towards Mac, a small smile firmly in place. "Thanks for coming over, Mac." he said simply from a distance. She forced a smile. He walked straight to the door and tried not to sigh as he saw her relax considerably.

She gathered her things and moved to the door as well. "Thank you, Harm. Dinner was wonderful." She leaned in shortly and placed a kiss on his cheek. Harm tried not to let his surprise show, or his amusement at seeing clearly that the kiss came as a surprise to her as well.

"Good night, Mac."

Harm closed the door and went about cleaning up, a grin accompanying every move. There was hope yet.

He had this silly image in his head of cuddling a baby chick, as he'd loved to do when he was a boy on his grandmother's farm. Hold them wrong and they struggled in your palm; flailing and quivering, trying to break free. His grandmother showed him just how to approach the fledglings; how to hold them so they wouldn't feel smothered and allow him to caress their soft plumes. He was embracing that approach again.

His plan B was hopefully working so far – get Mac too see him as a close friend again through a new, relaxed routine that was only theirs and had nothing to do with work. The rest would come with time; it simply had to. His patience would stand to trial, but anything was worth having his best friend back. And maybe more?

-----

Mac drove home in a daze. Her heart was fluttering; trying to keep up with the thoughts zinging through her head. She'd felt good spending time with Harm. Emphasis on felt.

For a few brief moments she was reminded of what used to be her life before it was drowned in heartbreak, betrayal, medical issues, suspicion and pessimism. Before she started guarding her soul so fiercely that she'd lost what she was trying to protect.

She was tired. So tired of it all. She'd had enough of looking at the world through a prism; afraid of fire and water and everything in between. Oh, she could still laugh in the face of danger, and be as bad-ass as the next Marine, but even the laughter was borne of fear. A different kind of fear.

She needed to get her life back. A life that was full of laughing sincerely with friends, enjoying pleasant company and doing her job because she loved it.

Getting out of her car, having arrived at her apartment, she took a deep breath of the cool night air. It was as if she was breathing fresh air for the first time in months.

Mac looked around her, taking in the empty street. She'd been living in the world, but in a way it had seemed completely foreign. She had some reacquainting to do.

-----

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: It's all there in chapter 1.

A/N: Thanks for the great reviews; they are so very highly appreciated!

All mistakes are mine! Mine, I tell you! ;-)

-----

His hand was warm under her shirt. His open palm slowly moved from her stomach, up and around her rib cage and back in a wrapping motion. Hot and gentle, he was taking her breath away. Every few strokes he'd finger the waistband of her jeans, but before she could clearly register it, he already moved his hand up again.

Suddenly there were no jeans, no barriers, and his hand ventured lower, lower still. His fingers were drawing patterns on her lower belly, and then his mouth replaced them. Small kisses were bestowed and she wanted to scream, to moan, to utter soft meaningless words, but found she couldn't make a sound. His ministrations had moved her to a state beyond voice, beyond reason, above and beyond.

His hands held her at the hips; strong but not constricting. She laced her fingers through his hair as he delivered an open mouthed kiss to her skin. "Harm..." His name finally fluttered from her lips.

And then she woke up.

Her eyes remained open and staring at the ceiling for quite some time before she realized she was awake now and all that had happened before was a dream. Wow. It's been a while since Harm appeared in her dreams like that. Actually, he never appeared in her dreams quite like that...

She'd had various dreams of a happily married life with Harm, some weird ones concerning work usually, and quite a few that would never be cleared for public viewing. But this... this one was different. It was hot; she was still slightly breathless, but more than that it was **loving**. A seemingly married life could happen with a lot of guys, hot sex too. **This** was quite a few levels higher than the two.

Both hands on the warm skin she'd dreamed about him kissing, Mac tried to think it through. He was getting under her skin again, and she wasn't sure it was a bad thing.

Sunday morning she really wasn't expecting to find anything at her door and only noticed the envelope when she went to take out the trash. Her living room was then treated to a full blown smile. The invitation was identical, but her joy was doubled.

That night, dinner was much more relaxed. Harm was still a little subdued and she was still a little tense, but they'd talked and she was once again reminded of other friendly nights and of good times.

Upon saying goodbye, this time Harm surprised her as he pulled her into a brief but strong hug. Pulling back, her hand lingered on his chest a moment before she walked out his door with a small smile.

So it really shouldn't have been a shock that he showed up in her dreams, considering he was the only thing that filled her thoughts before she went to bed.

Her morning routine was paid special attention. It'd been a while since she looked in the mirror and actually saw herself staring back, so it took a little longer to finish brushing her teeth and putting on her makeup.

Her mind was racing; thoughts rushing both ways, skirting collision at the last second, delighted at being able to get through without turning on the fog lights and proceeding carefully.

Once again, pure instinct was the only reason coffee wasn't spilled all over the hall outside her door. She really **really** didn't expect Harm to go on with this anymore. He'd made his point - he's still her friend, he cares about her and was taking a step back as she'd asked. So why the continued effort? She'd have to find out.

She picked up the cup and the bag and then did a double-take. There was a note attached to the bag. A plain index card. Her smile widened. Another identical invitation; she wondered how many he'd made. This day was just getting better and better.

-----

Her different manner went unnoticed by no-one at the office. A petty officer almost walked straight into a wall when she threw him a smile. This would have made her mad last week. Today, it made her chuckle to herself once she'd made it to her office.

Later, Bud also gave a visible double-take for the same reason and stumbled on his own words before composing himself and leaving her office.

Work was rather scarce, or was it just getting done faster now that she saw the files without a veil of tears blurring everything? Either way, she had enough time to get some thoughts in, and for once she didn't push them away, nor did she drown in them. She was fighting with herself over inviting Harm for lunch.

Finally around noon, she decided to naturally walk up to his office and ask him if he was free. Just as she got up from behind her desk, there was a light knock on her door and a small surprised grin lifted the corners of her mouth. Great minds think alike.

"Hey, Mac." Harm took a step in, "Just wanted to tell you I'm heading out. Long meeting at the Pentagon, probably won't get back to the office today."

She nodded. Perhaps they both had great minds, but as for the thinking alike part...

"So.. I don't even know if I'll have dinner at a normal time today..." And so the other shoe dropped.

"Oh." Was all she could manage.

"I guess I'll just have to make a better than average dinner tomorrow." He raised an eyebrow in question.

"If it were anyone else I'd say 'with more meat', but since it's you..." she had no idea where she'd dug that response from, but it earned her a full-blown grin, so she wasn't complaining.

"Actually, I've discovered a new kind of cheese. You'd love it – tastes just like chicken."

She scrunched her face at him. "That's what you said about tofu..."

"Live and learn, Marine. Bye."

And he was out the door. It took her a while before she remembered the word that described how she felt – giddy.

-----

The meeting at the Pentagon was indeed long, as Harm expected. For a group of people whose time was precious, they had an uncanny tendency to waste it. He felt sorry for the woman keeping protocol, for having to write down the exact same thing five times, since it was said by 5 different people, one after the other.

The worst part of it was watching the clock tick past 19:00. Until 18:00 he'd still been holding on to the vague hope that he still could get home in time to make a quick dinner and call Mac to come over. Then until 19:00 he'd figured he could always pick up take-out and bring it to her place. At 20:00 he'd lost all hope of getting home and doing anything besides getting out of uniform and scratching up something small to eat before hitting the sack.

Cover and briefcase in hand, he pushed open the door to his apartment and proceeded to throw both items to the nearest surface other than the floor.

An hour later, refreshed after a shower and in comfortable clothes, he sank down to the couch. Bottle of beer in hand, he leaned back to stare at his ceiling. It was boring. All the fatigue he'd felt earlier seemed to have evaporated and he was itching to do something. Maybe he could call Mac and see if she felt like a late night coffee.. or tea. Scanning the area for the previously (obviously carelessly) discarded phone, his eyes stopped on something that shouldn't have been there.

There was an envelope on the floor in front of his door. Maybe a breeze picked it up from the pile he'd prepared for Mac? Curious now, he got up and lifted it from the floor. Nope, he wouldn't have written his own name on an envelope to give to Mac. His mind wanted to go on with the guessing game; there were still some options left – Mattie to name one. But his fingers were too active and had already opened it.

Apparently he wasn't the only one with many plain index cards to spare. It was almost identical to the dinner 'invitations' he'd sent Mac and read:

'This certificate is good for one home ordered dinner. Chopsticks and (non-Chinese) dinner partner included.'

He laughed out loud and read on.

'Please check your side dishes of choice and return to sender'

She'd put down their usual choices and a few more.

Life was getting back on track.

-----

TBC

Sorry about the shortness... in was either post this as is now or wait quite a while till I have the wherewithal to write the part that's supposed to come next. So I decided to post now and save the next bit for the next chapter. Thank you all for sticking with the story!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: back to chap. 1, if you're interested.

A/N: So sorry it took this long. I had to re-read the first 4 chapters myself to remember where I left off, so you guys are probably just as confused. To recap, the last chapter ended with Harm finding a dinner invitation from Mac when he got back to his apartment. This after a few days of Harm leaving coffee and treats at her doorstep in the mornings and inviting her to dinner a couple of times. Read on!

Hugs and kisses of thanks to Colie for the support, comments and corrections!!!

-----

Plates? Check.

Silverware? Check.

Chopsticks? Check.

Carefully ordered Chinese food? Double check.

Marine Lt. Colonel about to go absolutely insane? Triple check with a fortune cookie on top.

She found herself hard-pressed to remember the last time she felt this nervous. But this was a good kind of nervous; the kind that makes you bounce on your toes and fight to keep the silly grin off your face.

Mac lit a couple of small candles on a side table and let out a long breath. 10 minutes and he'll show up and they will share a wonderful dinner. An evening of his presence, a welcomed assault of Harmon Rabb Jr. on her, now unhindered, senses.

She suddenly saw a larger than life image of the two of them on her couch after finishing dinner. She'd take his face in both her hands, laugh at the shock in his eyes and then kiss him for as long as it took to convey everything she couldn't put into words...

But what if he didn't come? Her breath caught painfully in her lungs and any trace of a smile disappeared from her face at the thought. Maybe he realized she wasn't worth it... that he'd had enough... Enough! She scolded herself. He would come.

The knocking on her door made her physically jump. Walking to the door, she tried to bring back the positive energy that had almost driven her crazy moments before. Opening the door helped her achieve her goal in seconds, and she flashed Harm a small smile.

"Hey. Come in."

"Thanks, Mac.. wow, you went all out!" he exclaimed once two steps in.

A short nervous laughter escaped her as Harm turned to her with an amused expression. "I was hungry." She shrugged.

Hands on his hips, Harm flashed her a smile and then nodded thoughtfully. "Always a good sign with you."

"Watch it, squid." She punched him playfully in the arm, "or I'll send you home with no dinner."

They ate side by side on the couch, exchanging some small talk and some good natured, much missed teasing.

At one point Mac found herself staring at Harm. She had missed this – being able to just sit with him in comfortable silence without the weight of the world threatening to crush her or the dread of a tsunami wave that would flush her out of the room. Without even noticing it, she had taken his hand in both of hers and brought it to her lap, tracing lines on the warm skin.

She felt him shift his weight on the couch and her head lifted slowly till brilliant blue eyes met wide open brown ones and a spell was cast. Somewhere in the back of her mind she could imagine the feel of his palm on her stomach as a dream sequence played on repeat.

"I want to be the mother of your child." Her voice was clear and eternally calm, the words describing exactly what lay in the core of her tired soul. "More than anything, Harm."

His eyes stayed on hers, his mouth remained closed. The words she'd spoken just then registered in her own mind, but no rational thought was involved in speaking now.

"It seems like I won't be able to do that now, and it's taking all of my strength not to fall to pieces. With everything that happened in the past year, my mental strength was stretched thin as it is. I wasn't ready for this blow." There was a speech building behind his beautiful eyes; she could practically see the words forming.

Her gaze dropped down to his hand in hers. "Mac, I-" He started, but she cut him off with a squeeze to his hand and a small shake of her head. "I know you want to be my strength, Harm, I know you want to help, and I appreciate it." she fixed her eyes on his once again, willing him to believe her. "But I need to know that I can deal with whatever life throws at me by myself, do you understand?"

The pleading in her voice and expression were unmistakable and Harm momentarily let his eyelids drop as he nodded his head a couple of times in resignation. It was hard for him to pull back and not act when someone he so dearly loved obviously needed his support. But... wasn't that exactly what he'd been doing lately? He raised his head, full of renewed hope and was met with a knowing smile.

"The past week... it's been exactly what I needed. You've made some of the pain go away and I can think clearly again." She took a deep breath, strengthened by his bright smile. "I guess what I'm really trying to say is... thank you."

"Oh, Mac." She could virtually feel the emotion in his voice as it wrapped around her mind and flipped off the lights.

Driven by pure, unadulterated joy for having taken away some of her pain, Harm closed the already diminishing distance in a heartbeat and pressed his lips to hers. For a long moment he just stayed there, putting off breathing, his lips against hers, his hand cupping her jaw and keeping her close.

It was only the feel of her fingernails digging into this palm that made the alarm bells go off. What was he doing?! He pulled back an inch, his breath fast and shallow.

He got carried away, he pushed too far, he wasn't thinking. Oh god. Oh god! Things were going so well and now he'd ruined it! Stupid, idiotic, driven by emotion-

The taste of her stopped the screaming inside his brain. She was kissing him. Tentatively, she nipped at his lips; slowly bringing his heartbeat down from fast-and-panicked to slow-and-emotional. Daring to hope, he opened his mouth to her and squeezed back against her fingers as they dove deeper than ever before.

His hand remained alone in her lap, as both of hers moved to his back and neck. He wanted her closer. He needed to feel her against him; to feel her heart pounding and her chest heaving. Fingers met jeans and moved determinedly upwards. Mac twisted slightly, kissing him from yet another angle, and his eager fingers glided along the skin of her waist.

Mac's gasp finally broke the never ending kiss and her wide eyes seemed to ground him. He wanted to kiss her again. His fingers inched along her skin, intent on bringing her closer for his purpose, but another gasp escaped her lips and he hesitated.

"Ha-Harm.." She swallowed, still trying to catch her breath. His touch was making her heart pound against her ribs. Dream flashes were taking over her thoughts; there was nothing but him. He moved his hand slightly again, and this time her entire upper body reacted along with the indrawn breath of air.

Instinctively catching on, Harm moved his hand to rest completely and firmly against her warm skin. Mac's hand glided down from his neck to his chest, resting atop his heart a moment, before falling down.

Returning the sweet smile Mac was casting his way, Harm leaned in for just another brief kiss before pulling back completely.

"You're welcome." Harm's voice finally brought her out of the daze and brought forth a chuckle. She glanced over at the cold remnants of their dinner, then back at Harm. "So... does this mean you're ready to talk to me?"

Mac took a deep breath. "Yes, Harm. But I'm still figuring things out for myself, there will still be things I need to deal with myself." She felt she was apologizing without really knowing why, but she desperately wanted him to understand, badly needed his continued support.

To her relief, Harm was already nodding his understanding. "I know, Mac. And I really do understand, but you also have to understand how painful it is for me to see you hurting and not being able to do a thing!" his voice rose with the emotion, but settled as she squeezed his knee.

"I know." Was all she whispered.

-----

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: see chap. 1 for disclaimer.

A/N: I know it won't matter how many times I say I'm sorry for not posting sooner, so I just won't! ;-)

Previously on "Compatible with life": Mac reciprocated with take-out dinner at her place, a week of supportive dinners and treats courtesy of Harmon Rabb Jr. The evening ended with a kiss and a promise of better things to come.

And now a little while later...

--

Mac exploded out of the courtroom her mind moving even faster than she was, determination fueling her engines, her entire being as focused as an arrow flying out with every intention of hitting the exact center of the target.

She breezed into her office, and was writing things down on her legal pad before her six even touched the chair. Bud, who had been unable to keep up with her Marine-on-a-mission pace, entered a few minutes after her, his expression portraying his will and ability to help his first chair colleague win the case.

"Bud, we need to find out the missing details here, if the chief lied to us on this point there could very well be other ones. I will not let another "Harm" be pulled on us."

"You called?" Harm popped his head into Mac's office, grin firmly in place.

With a mock exasperated sigh, Mac raised her head. "Yes, I'd like you to kindly stop rubbing off on Sturgis, I liked it better when he played by the book."

Harm laughed and slapped Bud on the back, causing the younger man to sway slightly. "You'll be fine, I'm sure, soon you'll be pulling the rug from under his feet and make him bow to you."

Mac raised a brow at the chosen metaphor but she only got a wink and a wish of good luck before the Commander left her with her thoughts and her co-counsel. Allowing herself a second longer to ponder how nice the working atmosphere at JAG was once again, Mac launched into a short but effective brain-storm with Bud, and then they parted ways with a piece of string each, out to tie it all together before the trial ended.

--

Harm threw his head back and laughed. "God, Mac, the look on Sturgis' face when he came out of the court-room..." he lapsed back into laughter, "priceless!"

Mac came out of her kitchen, a big smile spreading her lips. "Hey, I can't help it that Bud and I make a great team..."

Harm accepted the tea mug she handed him, but promptly set it on the table, took her own mug from her hands and set that on the table too. Her raised brow inched higher as he used his free hands to grabs her legs and pull her into his lap.

Not wanting to question something good, Mac simply wrapped her arms around him and indulged in the warmth his hands sent coursing through her as they caressed her back.

She hummed her satisfaction and let her eyelids fall down. No sooner had her eyelashes come to rest that she felt his breath on her lips and then he kissed her. He took his time; slowly taking away all sense of reality and replacing it with everything that was him. She responded with everything that was her and when they finally pulled back and she consulted her inner clock, there were about 15 minutes missing from the count.

Mac sighed deeply and rested her forehead against his. She loved these moments of pure bliss with him. "You're incredible, Mac." Harm whispered into the air between them and she felt the words more than she heard them – the shaken air waves echoing to her heart through her chest cavity, instead of taking the conventional way of ears, brain and then soul.

She pulled back to look him in the eyes and the smile that graced her lips was warm and loving and only his. She used both hands to cover the lines of his face and neck with the wonder of a child. "Right back atcha, sailor." She uttered, devoid of anything but truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

"So.. I've been thinking..." Harm begun, but she cut him off with an "Uh-oh!" and a wicked grin. He gave her an exasperated look and went on, his fingers at her back serving as a most welcomed distraction. "-that now that you're done with your big case, and seeing as all my cases are rather minor or a breath away from being resolved..." he took a deep breath and seemed to be studying her.

"Yes...?" She prompted, pretty sure of where this was going, and liking it very much.

"Maybe we can both take some time off and enjoy some time away from this city?"

Her bright smile should've been answer enough, but Mac figured she might as well spell things out and avoid any misunderstanding. "Best idea you've had in a while, flyboy!" She could see the childlike excitement building behind his eyes and could feel her inner child doing a jig of her own, her pretty pink skirt swaying to and fro.

--

Lying back in her beach chair, Mac smiled and relaxed. "Definitely the best idea you've had, Harm." Her sentiment was wasted since Harm was busy doing laps in the hotel pool, but she was pretty sure he knew just how content she was.

This time off gave her a chance to think back on the past few months. It was so hard in the beginning; she was caught up deep in her turmoil, constantly thinking black thoughts that only served to pull her in deeper. Harm, with his unwavering support, threw her a line and managed (most of the time) to let her climb up the rope by herself. Even out of the black hole, she still had some climbing to do, but that distance just vanished without her even noticing. It was amazing how things worked themselves out once you stopped delving into them and let your life carry on.

And carry on it did. With Harm.

Oh she still had her rough points, as did he. After all, this new and intimate relationship between the two of them was brand new and, cherished though it was, had its low points as well. She remembered with a wince one such point with a screaming match from hell about him being too smothering and her being too cold. But they always made up in the end, and it was usually well worth it.

Her hand still drifted to her midriff every once in a while. If it was when Harm was around, it would usually be covered by his and then removed from her stomach to be replaced with a kiss.

And yes there were still times when black thoughts entered her mind, after all, to some things in life there just aren't any miracle cures. A shadow came over her.

"You're blocking the sun." She didn't even bother opening her eyes.

The shadow grew larger and suddenly it was raining.

"Harm!" Her eyes flew open and there was annoyance in her tone, but it was overthrown by amusement. Harm had propped himself on the armrests of her chair and was dripping chlorine-full drops on her previously sun-bathing skin.

"You're making me wet..." she whispered with a playful pout.

She got the raised brow she expected and the mischievous grin she loved, especially when directed at her from such close proximity. "I am, am I?" he proceeded to waggle his eyebrows meaningfully and she collapsed in fits of laughter.

Recognizing an opening when he saw one, Harm went right in and started tickling her in her weak spots to make her squeal and laugh harder. Mac put up an admirable fight, considering he had the upper hand.

Not one without mercy, Harm stopped for a while to let Mac take a few gulps of air and kissed the hollow of her throat quickly. "Do you give up?" he asked in a sing-song voice.

Grabbing him by the ears and pulling, Mac delivered a kiss that made Harm forget everything except the fact that he really really wished they were inside their room at that moment. Mac broke the kiss and smiled brilliantly. "Never."

A few seconds and a regained composure later, his smile matched hers. "God, I love you." He breathed and any traces of a smile disappeared from her face, as she searched his eyes. It's not that he'd never said it before, but it was never this casual, middle-of-the-day, 'you know this already but I just thought I'd mention it', peaceful admission. And though she wouldn't admit it, she still had problems really believing it.

He grew serious too, trying to discern where the clouds were coming from. A mental image of Harm sticking a wet finger up in the air, his eyes searching the sky, suddenly popped into her head and the sun broke through. "I love you too, Harm." She assured him and her heart warmed as she witnessed his body relax and the smile return to his lips, which she just had to kiss again.

--

They spent a leisurely evening in their hotel room, enjoying room service, a brilliant sunset and each other.

Mac looked up at Harm and sighed contently. "Have I mentioned how much I'm enjoying this vacation?" Her fingers caressed the hair at the back of his head.

"You may have... once or twice." He admitted. "Mac..." He was suddenly serious and a bit tense and her senses sharpened quickly. "Do you have any idea how much I love you?"

The tears came from nowhere, caught her completely unready and slipped past her guards and out to her cheeks. "Oh, Mac..." He looked crushed as he wiped away her tears and she fought valiantly to regain control, shaking her head in an effort to clear away the fog.

"I'm sorry, Harm, I-" She finally managed some words but was stopped before she started. "No, I'm sorry, Mac. I didn't mean to push you, I'm stressing you-"

It suddenly dawned on her that he might be just as slow in believing other people's sentiments, and that he might be misinterpreting her actions.

"You idiot, you're not stressing anything." She covered his mouth with her hand to stop the babbling and forged on. "I love you so much, Harm, it's just that as you probably know, nine years of convincing myself that these feelings were only going one way, it's still hard to believe..."

She waiting for the words to sink in, for the light to shine through and slowly heat the waters. When it did, the brilliance was overwhelming. She removed her hand from his lips, not before it received a kiss.

"Marry me." He breathed.

"What?" She blurted. The guy was taking away more breath than she had to spare.

"Sarah MacKenzie," he took a deep breath, "would you marry me?"

"Are you sure?" She felt she had to ask.

"Mac!" Harm looked undecided between laughing and screaming.

"Seriously, Harm." She meant it. "Are-"

But he wouldn't let her go on. "Sarah. I've never been more serious. Nothing would make me happier than to be married to you." He stopped her foreseen interruption and placed his hand on top of hers, where it had drifted to lay on her lower stomach. "Being the optimist that I am, I haven't given up yet, but even if it doesn't happen... I want you. Just you. Only you. You." He stuck his forefinger in the space between her collarbones to stress the point.

The tears were brimming again, but this time she was ready and blinked them back.

"Yes." She said.

"Yes?" Believing was still hard.

"Yes, I'll marry you, Harm. I'd love to marry you." Mac said solemnly. He nodded seriously and was silent. Then a dazzling grin split his face and Mac found herself picked up and flung to the other side of the bed, Harm landing on top of her and proceeding to kiss the living daylights out of her. She was only too happy to comply.

The only thought that floated slowly through the last vestiges of her consciousness that night was a pink fluffy one. "He loves me..."

--

Epilogue to follow.


	7. Epilogue

Disclaimer: For the last time – see chap. 1 for the disclaimer if you really feel the need.

A/N: didn't believe this day would come, did you? In truth, neither did I... but here it is!

I just really want to thank all you readers and reviewers for taking the time and reading new installments even when they took me months, (Literally. It's been a year since I started!) and for all your kind words and encouragement. Thank you!!

Okay, enough with this mushy stuff and on to the mushy stuff of the story ;-)

--

"C'mon, uncle Harm! You gotta concentrate!" At 8, little AJ was a force to be reckoned with, and Mac watched with a smile as her husband did his best to appease the little guy.

"Yeah, Harm, get your head in the game!" The glare directed at her for that comment was expected and not at all unwelcome. She smiled serenely back. Nothing could dissuade her good mood recently.

Jimmy, who was seated, as Harm and little AJ were, on the living room carpet, kept sending her periodic looks of awe mixed with marvel. Harriet had warned her it would be so.

Harm and Mac had been called to the rescue when the Roberts' usual babysitter canceled at the last moment. They were only too happy to spend an evening with their godchildren. After all, lately they didn't really get out much anyways.

"Jimmy," since he was practically sitting at her feet, it only took a whisper to get his full and complete attention. She smiled widely at him and stretched out a hand, palm up, "come here, kiddo."

He stood up the way only a toddler can, and put both hands on her right leg, his eyes wide open and focused solely on her.

"You wanna feel him?" Her eyes twinkled and laughed, as the boy simply nodded his head in excitement. She took his pudgy little hand in hers and placed it flat against her round belly.

She felt the ripple inside and out and only barely held on to the tears that wanted to spill over, as she saw the pure, unadulterated wonder spread out on Jimmy's face, his lips parting to mutter "Wow..."

"I think so too." She sparkled at him.

Feeling something else, Mac raised her head to find Harm staring at her with a (just slightly) more mature version of Jimmy's expression. Her heart sighed in happiness.

A miracle it hadn't been. More like a lot of planning and a lot of money. But in the end... it really was a miracle. Their miracle – their little boy growing inside of her.

She hoisted Jimmy onto her lap and he curled himself around her stomach and was whispering to the baby. She thought she heard something about Jimmy letting the baby play with his toys if he was good. She caressed the boy's head and looked down at the picture they made through her lashes.

--

She didn't remember falling asleep. She woke up to the feeling of a weight being lifted from her. It was Harm picking a sleeping Jimmy up and into his arms, taking the time to plant a soft kiss on her forehead. She smiled sleepily and watching him walk away. AJ was nowhere to be seen or heard, so she guessed Harm had already tucked him in.

The next thing she woke up to was Harm sitting down next to her. She was falling asleep a lot lately...

"Sorry, hon. Didn't mean to wake you again." Harm whispered against her ear and kissed her temple. "The kids are all safely tucked in their beds... want me to tuck you in too?" Mac wrapped her hands around him, letting him lift her into his lap. "I'm tucked in just fine, thank you." She mumbled into his neck.

Harm smoothed his hand over her belly in a caress for both mother and child. He got a sleepy smile and a kick (accordingly) in response. Mac opened her eyes at Harm's intake of breath and was almost blinded by the brilliance of his smile.

"He kicked, Mac." He said as if it was the first time.

"He's just saying good night to his daddy." Mac answered indulgently.

The first time Harm admired his son's movement she had replied differently. It had been right after they'd discovered they were pregnant. After the shock, the tears of joy, the hugging, kissing and the dancing around the room, came the silence of appreciation. They'd sat together and Harm had for the first time caressed her lower stomach, knowing his child was growing inside. After a few minutes he suddenly started grinning uncontrollably.

"He kicked, Mac."

Mac just laughed. "Harm! He doesn't even have legs yet! Come to think of it, we don't even know it's a He!"

Harm's grin didn't falter. "Say what you will, my son kicked." When she shook her head at him he went on. "Besides, the correct answer on your part is to tell me what he's saying..." She raised a brow. "After all, he **is** growing inside **you**."

With her bubbling laughter they went back to the feeling of elation and to the hugging and kissing... and more.

Since that time she tried to answer for the baby whenever Harm felt him kick. It provided for some rather interesting conversations between father and son. Like the merits of ice cream in the middle of the night and the capability of pregnant women to still work and handle themselves.

"Mac?" Harm's voice brought her back to the present time.

"Hmmm?"

"Come on, honey, we're going home." He eased her off of him as she struggled to wake up and understand what was going on. She must have fallen asleep again and now Bud and Harriet were already back home. She had to stop falling asleep all the time! Wasn't she supposed to be an insomniac or something?!

They said their goodbyes to the Roberts and were home in a blink of an eye... Mac's eye, anyways.

In their bed, spooned close together, Mac took Harm's hand in hers and brought it to her lips. Against it she whispered her love for him. He did the same against her hair.

Looking back on the last couple of years of her life, Mac couldn't believe how things had turned around for her. She went from absolute despair and the belief that her personal life would go on being rather bleak, to overwhelming happiness and her dreams coming true. For the very low points she had endured in her life before, she was now coasting the wave at its peak, enjoying the view and the feel of the wind flowing past her.

She wove her fingers through his and brought their hands to rest close to their child. Life was incredible; there was no doubt about it. For once, she was very compatible with it.

--

The End.


End file.
